


Venom

by QueenOfAllCorgis



Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Daemon Touching, Daemons, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 16:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfAllCorgis/pseuds/QueenOfAllCorgis
Summary: Daemon!AU. It’s hard to hide when part of your soul is outside of your body but Dan tries anyway. It’s hard to give someone your all when they lock themselves away but Phil tries anyway.





	Venom

It was kind of amazing that this boy could make Dan turn into a twelve year old girl.   
  
AmazingPhil’s luminous smile and overly bright eyes turned his insides into jelly. His laughter made his face turn bright red. His ridiculous stories made him giggle uncontrollably.   
  
“Ah, your crush had uploaded another video?” Vivian asked in her low voice. A bit of teasing made her tone light and Dan brushed her off.   
  
“Shut up.”  
  
“He is very charming, cute too,” as usual, she loved picking fun at him.  
  
“I hadn’t noticed,” Dan rolled his eyes, smiling inwardly at his daemon’s grumble at being ignored.   
  
The video was perfect as always. Phil was energetic and bubbly, grinning through another silly story and by the end Dan’s cheeks hurt with how wide he was smiling. At the end of the video Phil’s daemon hopped into the camera and waved her tiny paw, chiming in with Phil’s familiar signing off.   
  
Of course his daemon was adorable as well.   
  
When the screen went black Dan slumped down into his pillows and sighed. Vivian made her way towards him, wrapping up his arm as she went. A faint ding came from his phone and Dan lazily picked it up, glancing once before letting out a gasp and jerking up straight.   
  
“He messaged me,” Dan breathed, staring at his phone with wide eyes.  
  
Vivian clung tighter to his arm, annoyed at being jostled. “Was he asking you to stop harassing him?”  
  
“He messaged me,” he repeated, getting a squeeze on his arm in return.   
  
—  
  
Vivian was clearly annoyed at Dan’s new friendship. She glared at him whenever he wrote and rewrote (and rewrote and rewrote) messages to Phil, waiting desperately for a response.  
  
“Is it odd for him to be writing a kid in high school?” Vivian whispered in his ear as she coiled around his neck. “I mean, he just graduated from university.”  
  
“It’s not weird. He just…he is my friend,” Dan felt his cheeks burn.   
  
“He wants something else if you’re asking me,” the flicker of a tiny forked tongue against his neck made Dan jerk violently to the side and yelp.  
  
He flung her off of him, rubbing his neck angrily. “You’re sounding like my mom giving me the creeps on the internet speech. I’m not sending him nudes or anything…he is just the only person who cares enough to ask how I am.”  
  
Vivian scowled as much as a snake could.  
  
—  
  
On the day of their first Skype call Dan was a mess. He had fixed his hair a million times and had tried on every outfit he had. This had to go perfect, there was no other option.   
  
“What if he doesn’t call?” He asked, voice slightly hysterical.  
  
“He will.”  
  
The ringing from his computer made Dan stiffen, eyes wide. He turned to Vivian who arched her body towards the screen. “Can you…can you like not be on camera? I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”  
  
Vivian’s slitted eyes hardened and she huffed before turning her back on him. It wasn’t that he was ashamed. It was just that snake daemons had a negative connotation and he didn’t want Phil to think badly of him at the beginning.   
  
She continued to ignore him as he stuttered through his hello, trying his best to seem relaxed. She continued to ignore him as he finally relaxed and started actually having a conversation. She continued to ignore him as hour after hour passed by.   
  
When they finally hung up into the small hours of the morning Dan flopped down onto his bed, grinning like an idiot.   
  
“I hope you had fun talking to that old man,” Vivian hissed.   
  
—  
  
It had been strange to be fighting with part of his soul. Vivian ignored him as they went throughout their day, spending her time hiding in his backpack.   
  
She would get over it, he thought. She would have to.  
  
Then it all went to hell.   
  
Patrick Callahan had been taunting him like always, spitting insults and shoving him. His doberman daemon was snarling off to his side and Vivian slithered up his back and wound around his neck, hissing at Patrick as well.   
  
“Fucking gaylord,” Patrick shoved him again and Dan scowled, pushing hair out of his eyes.   
  
“You seem far too interested in my sexuality. What are you hiding Patrick?” Dan spat and pure hatred flashed in his eyes. The other boy’s face screwed up in fury and he reached for Dan, fingers grasping near his throat.   
  
Instead, his fingers twisted around Vivian. He yanked back the daemon’s a sneer on his face as he shook her. “Not so high and mighty are you now Howell?”  
  
It felt like someone had punched him in the stomach and Dan crumpled to his knees. Vaguely, through the rush of blood in his ears, he knew he heard Vivian screaming. His own throat ached from his own shrieks.   
  
The pain, the  _wrongness_ , of it all was so overwhelming. It couldn’t have lasted for more than a few moments but it felt like it had gone on for an eternity.   
  
A teacher grabbed Patrick’s arm and he let go of the daemon who slithered rapidly towards Dan, winding up his legs and curling into his arms. Vivian trembled violently, tongue flicking out to confirm that he was actually there with her and he just clutched her to his chest and sobbed.   
  
The nurse let him go home early and take the next day off. His mother kept sneaking concerned glances at him as they drove home, Vivian threading herself through his fingers over and over.   
  
“Just go rest darling,” she kissed his forehead and her little cat daemon mewed softly. “It’ll all be okay.”  
  
It wouldn’t. He had been  _violated_  in the most horrific way possible and although holding Vivian in his arms helped it still felt raw and monstrous.   
  
A ding came from his phone and he glanced down to see Phil’s name flash across the screen. Shakily, Dan swiped his hand across his eyes and sniffed. Vivian nudged his hand with her head and he quickly typed in a response.   
  
 _Can you Skype?_  
  
There was a pause before the familiar ring came from his computer. Vivian started slithering off of his arm but Dan shook his head and held her tightly. She remained coiled around his wrist when he answered the call.  
  
“Hey! How…are you okay?” Phil faltered when he saw Dan’s pale and tear streaked face.  
  
“No,” he breathed and pulled his knees in tightly. “I…I…At school today someone grabbed my daemon.”  
  
Phil’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “On purpose?”  
  
“He just grabbed her and shook her and…” Dan shuddered, eyes squeezing shut. “It was absolutely horrible. I thought I was going to die.”  
  
“Oh my God,” Phil stared at him in horror. “You’re okay Dan, everything is going to be okay. What do you want me to do? What do you need from me?”  
  
Holly, Phil’s daemon, hopped into view. Her gentle eyes were wide with concern and her ears twitched. “Just breathe dear.”  
  
It took some time and some gentle soothing from both Phil and his daemon before Dan’s sobs subsided. Vivian wound through his fingers and the gentle movements were incredibly soothing.  
  
“What is your daemon’s name?” Phil asked.   
  
“Her name is Vivian,” Dan whispered and Phil hummed.   
  
“She’s just lovely,” his voice was soft and Dan’s fingers tightened around her. It was the first time he had ever heard that about Vivian. Of course he thought she was beautiful but all the stereotypes about snake daemons usually led to people avoiding him.  
  
“You think so?” Dan’s voice was smaller than he had ever heard it.   
  
“Yeah,” Phil looked into his eyes and smiled. “I really do. Maybe…when you have time. You can come visit?”  
  
Dan smiled widely and nodded. “That sounds amazing.”  
  
—  
  
When they actually met in person Phil was everything and more than Dan ever expected. He still had the same bright eyes and warm smile but everything was amplified by a million.   
  
They hugged tightly, Vivian tightening around his neck where she had spent the train ride in concern. It felt like home, Dan thought, hugging him feels like home.  
  
Holly traveled around in a pattered bag, peeking out as they chattered excitedly. The daemons were quiet, allowing the two boys to talk nonstop. They wandered through the city, exploring the sites.   
  
“What kind of snake is Vivian? I’ve never seen one that color,” Phil asked as Vivian peeked out from under Dan’s collar. They lay in bed together, watching Kill Bill, and sifting through a giant pile of junk food.   
  
“She’s a San Fransisco garter snake,” Dan let his fingers slip over her smooth scales.   
  
“I really meant it earlier…she’s beautiful,” he smiled as Vivian puffed up proudly.  
  
Dan blushed as Vivian slid up his neck and whispered in his ear. “I changed my mind. I like him.”  
  
“Thanks. Holly is super pretty too,” he mumbled, face bright red. He wasn’t lying. Holly was tiny, even her ears were a little short but her eyes were large and gentle. Phil laughed and turned to grab a book off of his bedside table.   
  
 _Daemon Interpretations._  
  
“I thought all this crap was kind of stupid but Holly was a lion for like ever before she settled and, although I love her very much and don’t feel this way anymore, I was disappointed that she ended up a rabbit,” Holly huffed and Phil gave her an apologetic look.  
  
“I was disappointed in your stupid haircut through most of university,” Phil winced at that and Holly laughed, a light tinkling voice.   
  
“Anyway, I looked up daemon interpretations to see what that meant. What did it mean? I ended up as a  _rabbit_  and all my friends had carnivores or something cool,” Phil shrugged.  
  
“She’s cool,” Dan laughed but Holly didn’t look hurt in the least.   
  
“So, I looked it up and found that rabbit are gentle and slightly shy at first,” Phil read from the book. “They can be quirky and lose themselves in their thoughts often. Rabbits are gentle and put the needs of others before themselves.”  
  
“I’d say it fits pretty great,” Dan smiled and Phil shrugged with a smile.   
  
“I think so too. I’m proud of my daemon, screw people who think badly of us because of them. They’re an extension of our soul,” Phil started flipping through the book. “Now lets look at yours.”  
  
“No…its fine,” Dan flushed. He loved Vivian but he knew that interpretations of snakes were hardly ever positive.   
  
“Ah ha! ‘Snakes often slink through life in a solitary quest for warmth and acceptance. Shy and insecure, they must keep a low profile to avoid the disapproving glances and teasing of others. Of course, their poisonous wit and quick tongues help to keep tormentors at bay,’” Phil read and Dan felt his lips tighten.   
  
“So, I’m basically an asshole who has no friends and is desperate for attention,” Dan grumbled.  
  
“Hush, I’m not done. ‘With the snake’s connection to the earth they have learned to express themselves through art. Snakes are often feared but most are quite harmless. They are known to be creative, inventive and meticulous,’” Phil finished. “It says that you hold yourself in close to not let yourself be hurt. However, you show yourself through art. You take care of yourself and you are so strong because of it.”  
  
Dan stared up at the ceiling. “So…we have someone who is shy and nervous and someone who attacks with words.”  
  
A soft gasp met his ears before he felt the soft fur under his fingers. Holly stared up at him, nuzzling at Dan’s hand. Next to her Phil sat perfectly still, eyes wide. It felt like time stopped before Dan jerked his hand back.  
  
“Oh God…I’m so, so sorry!” Dan stuttered out and Phil shook his head.   
  
“No, it’s okay. It didn’t hurt or anything…it kind of felt good in a weird way I guess?” Phil rubbed at his arm. “It felt like a hug but…intense?”  
  
How could it possibly feel good? Memories of the agony and horror as Vivian writhed in Patrick’s grip  made him shiver and her pulled back again. “I won’t do it again.”  
  
“You can. I trust you,” Phil gave him a tiny smile and Holly nudged his hand again.   
  
Cautiously, Dan stroked his fingers over her fur. Sparks flickered up through his fingers and Holly’s eyes fluttered shut. Vivian tightened around his upper arm until he stopped petting her.   
  
A beat passed before Phil leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. It felt like time passed by incredibly slowly as their lips gliding against each others, deepening quickly. He pulled back with a shaky breath and they pressed their foreheads together.   
  
“Thank you,” Dan finally stuttered out.   
  
“I don’t know why you’re thanking me but keep doing it,” Phil laughed and kissed him again.  
  
—  
  
After that, Dan only touched Holly a few more times.   
  
She curled up in his arms when he had his breakdown during university. Phil had sat by him on the floor, hand gripping Dan’s leg. It was clear the sensation of someone touching his daemon was overwhelming but he knew that Dan needed it.   
  
She hopped onto the couch and nuzzled his arm after the video had been released and he had cried himself to sleep. Dan had pushed her off the couch, hearing Phil whimper from across the room. He wasn’t proud of that.   
  
She pressed her tiny feet into Dan’s side when they both watched their show on their couch, sipping rose. This time Dan scratched his fingers through her fur and smiled as Phil shivered.   
  
Throughout all of this, Vivian refused to be touched. Maybe Dan was still holding everything too close to himself. He insisted on her staying coiled around his arm under his sleeves, out of sight. What would the fans think when they knew he had a snake daemon?  
  
Plus, it was kind of fun to hear all the speculations on what they thought she was. One of the theories was that she was an invisible dementor (a theory that Vivian liked quite a lot).   
  
But, Dan was making a major effort to put aside his armor and shields. He wanted people to start seeing the real him, despite how scary it was. There wasn’t any need to hide himself, no need for venomous barbs to keep people at a distance.  
  
It started with a different style of clothing, one he often admired on others but had never had the courage to wear himself.  
  
Then he stopped straightening his hair. Not only did it save him a good half hour, he actually liked the way it looked.   
  
They were getting ready for a dinner with some friends when Dan made his mind up. Vivian started coiling around his arm under his sleeve but he shook her out.   
  
“I’m wearing this sweater so you can be around my neck. I figured you’d really pop,” he smiled and she paused before swiftly looping around his throat like a living necklace.   
  
“Alright! Ready to-“ Phil sang out, Holly perched on his shoulder. He paused at the sight before grinning. “Well don’t you look like a fancy boa?”  
  
“Just make sure you have your lucky rabbit foot,” Vivian sassed back.   
  
Phil rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys, following Dan to the door. “That’s what you needed. That’s what  _Daniel Howell_ needed. You both look good.”  
  
That familiar warmth flooded Dan’s stomach and he nudged Phil’s shoulder. Quicker than he could see, Vivian slithered across his shoulders and curled around Phil’s shoulders instead.  
  
Dan steeled himself for the pain and panic but it never came. Instead it felt like a warm blanket had been draped over him. It felt like lying in the sun on a sunny day. It felt like sitting in his mother’s kitchen, smelling warm cookies.   
  
It felt like home.   
  
It felt like comfort.   
  
It felt like love.   
  
“Well, hello you,” Phil breathed, stroking her head.  
  
Was this what putting down his armor felt like? Like being bathed in a glow and accepted beyond all measure? Like feeling any worry and pain drifting away?  
  
Dan blinked furiously as Vivian unwound herself from Phil and drifted back over. She rested, heavy and still warm from Phil’s body heat, against his collar bones. Her slitted eyes glanced up, looking worried but he just pressed kiss to her head.   
  
“Shall we go?” Dan asked, opening the door.


End file.
